Hi, I’m ellie wilde.

I am a Somatic Sexologist and Tantric Practitioner. It is my pleasure to guide men into feeling more whole, connected, mindful and integrated in their sexuality.

Using ancient practices of tantra to awaken and activate the body, alongside home practices which encourage a mindful, and holistic approach to sex - my Tantric Massage and Tantric Initiation journeys take you along a path of discovery, growth and healing.

Working with me and with other experts at Essential Tantra can help you to unhook from the addictive cycles of sexual frustration, unhealthy porn use, and sex that leaves you feeling empty, and liberate you into your potential as a mature masculine multi-orgasmic man, and Tantric Lover.

Praise for Essential Tantra

  • S.Mieras, NZ

    “Working with Ellie was one of the most nurturing experiences I've been privileged to have during my lifetime of 59+ years. I felt deeply held and nourished with compassion, empathy, love, patience,respect and reverence. I am grateful for Ellie's contribution towards my personal development and evolution.”

  • Stephen, Aus

    “I have never felt so open and vulnerable with another human being and yet so accepted. In my session with Ellie, I was able to heal a lot of shame and discover a deeper connection to myself and my sexuality.”

  • Anon, Auckland

    “I highly recommend seeing Ellie! She is so empathetic, caring, non-judgmental, and professional. She really listens to what is going on for you, and as a result tailors sessions to suit. She has helped me to become more comfortable with being authentically myself in an intimate setting. Thanks so much. “

My Approach

  • My approach uses a mixture of Tantric Massage and coaching. With my help, you learn to move sexual energy through your entire body. This awakens and activates the entire glandular system, and the body’s electrical system (or chi) which opens the heart and expands the mind & energy body.

  • By relaxing into arousal rather than contracting, plus with various essential massage techniques your sexual energy will move up the body (sublimation). I also offer coaching around the breath, (as many of us are shallow breathers.) By breathing deeply and fully we can amplify and awaken more life-force energy, opening the doorway to erotic trance states, accessing deep relaxation and releasing stored stress.

  • If you have a healthy curiosity, dedication and determination you can evolve into a masterful Tantric Lover, and the vibrant sexually mature man you have the full potential to be with my Tantric Initiation Journey. Where you will have the support and expertise of not just myself but also another world-class male sexuality coach.

  • You can learn to master your sexual energy be fully present, on the edge of the experience during love-making (or when engaging in solo sex) and fully connected to your partner (or yourself) , rather than distracted by the goal of the release.

  • Sex becomes a journey instead of something linear, and you can enter the realm of sex for transformation and awakening (rather than it being about procreation or recreation)

  • With continued solo practice and tantric massage you can learn to orgasm without ejaculating, conserving your vital life-force energy, and being mindful of how and when you share your seed.

It’s not that ejaculation is wrong, it’s the addiction to ejaculation that is harmful to sexual wellness and vital health.

Many men say “Why would I want to give up ejaculating?”

My answer “You don’t have to ‘give up’ ejaculating, just abstain from it for a period of time so that your body can learn something new.

The Tantric Initiation Journey is designed to support you on this journey”

Mind-blowing Benefits of semen retention

  • increase in testosterone

  • more mental focus and clarity

  • more masculine energy (assertiveness, direction in life)

  • feel more confident and greater self-esteem

  • women will find you more attractive - you become magnetic

  • no neediness

  • easier to manifest things in your life

  • more creativity, drive and enthusiasm

  • last longer during love-making

  • eventually brain no longer seeks for ejaculation

  • you can orgasm without losing semen

  • your immune system is boosted

  • vital amazing (too many to list here) nutrients do not have to be reproduced all the time

Taoists believe men only have a certain number of ejaculations in their lifetime.

As a man ages it becomes more and more important for him to learn sublimation techniques so that he can transform his sexual energy into awakened consciousness, rather than keeping the energy at a base level and then needing to  throw it off to release tension or sexual frustration.

Tantric Massage can also support you to be able to hold a stronger charge of energy for longer without tipping over by mistake, or feeling like you need to throw it off.